A Serious Dinner
by Gaby Black
Summary: [Oneshot] Vernon and Petunia meet James for the first time. Their hopes for a normal dinner are dashed the moment James opens his mouth. "I've heard enough," Vernon hissed. "I don't want to ever hear again about Quiddotts, Gringditch and whatever other nonsense you keep rambling about!"


**Disclaimer:** all the characters mentioned are JK Rowling's and none of it is mine.

 **Author's note:** I only recently discovered the section on Pottermore about the first meeting the Dursleys had with James, read a couple of fanfics about it and wanted to have my own take. I am planning on writing the same scene but from James's point of view, in a later chapter of my story "I May Lose Everything".

I hope you enjoy this, please leave a review to let me know!

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"They're late."

Petunia turned up her nose and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You know I cannot stand people who are late," Vernon said.

"Me neither, darling," Petunia said.

Petunia felt like she should protest against Vernon's implication that she would indulge her sister's tardiness. To be fair, Lily and her boyfriend were only six minutes and thirty-four seconds late. Suddenly, Vernon snorted and pointed at a couple who had just entered the restaurant and were taking off their long dark coats.

"Here they are, I suppose," Vernon said. "Well, at least their clothes are sort of normal."

Petunia studied them as they walked towards their table. Lily was dressed perfectly normally, in a simple but elegant knee-length dark green dress. That boy – as Petunia called him in her head – however, had made quite a poor attempt at normal clothes. He was wearing a blue shirt and black jeans, which were both too big on him, with brown shoes. Everything he was wearing looked suspiciously like items owned by Lily and Petunia's father, but which should never have been worn together.

"Hello!" Lily said with a bright, unnatural smile. "Sorry we're a bit late. This is James Potter. James, this is Petunia, and Vernon."

There were awkward handshakes all around. James was not what Petunia had been expecting – though what exactly she had been expecting, she was not quite sure. He was tall, thin and had an air of cleverness about him. And, she had to admit it, he was actually rather handsome. James and Lily sat down in front of Vernon and Petunia, each side of the small table silently assessing the other. Lily picked up the menu, and Petunia observed gleefully the surprise on Lily's face. Vernon had picked the most expensive restaurant they knew. He had said that would teach 'their lot' what could be achieved if you lived a perfectly ordinary life.

"So, Vernon," Lily said, breaking the silence. "Your job at Grunnings, what does it consist of exactly?"

Vernon launched into a detailed explanation of his job, with Lily nodding and whispering "yes" and "I see" at all the right moments. James, however, didn't seem to display the same polite interest. Petunia had the distinct impression that he was trying to hide a smile, and his face kept on disappearing behind his menu. Petunia had no idea why that boy would feel there was something funny about Vernon's success at work, of which Vernon and Petunia were both very proud. Vernon only stopped talking when the waiter came to take their orders.

"I'll take the Seven hour Salt Marsh lamb, potato and olive oil gratin," Vernon said.

"No starter for you, sir?" the waiter asked.

"No, you only have snails, frogs, and whatnot," Vernon said. "And I won't have any of that foreign nonsense. I will also have the T-bone steak."

"But, sir, it is for two."

"Yes, I know," Vernon said.

James snorted. Petunia shot daggers at him, and hoped the waiter hadn't heard. She felt dislike for that boy pulsing through her veins. Once the waiter had taken everyone's orders and left, Vernon made a brave attempt at decent conversation.

"So, tell me, what car do you drive? I've got a Rover SD1, all new, quite a beauty if I do say so myself. And made in Britain, none of that Japanese junk."

James stared dumbfounded at Vernon. Lily glanced at James and then opened her mouth, but that boy spoke before she could.

"I don't need a car," James said. "I've got a Nimbus 1500, it's the finest there is. It's extremely fast and easy to handle. Yes, really, it's the best broomstick around at the moment."

"Broomstick?" Vernon barked.

"I'm sure your car is really nice," Lily said quickly. "Our dad has a Rover as well, doesn't he, Tuney?"

Petunia tugged at her thin blonde hair and scowled at her sister. She blushed slightly and avoided Vernon's eyes. It was the first time Vernon heard her stupid childhood nickname.

"Don't call me that," Petunia said.

Every word Petunia said that hurt Lily was a bittersweet rush of adrenaline. James put his arm around Lily for a moment and patted her shoulder, with an excruciatingly sweet smile. There was a long silence.

"Anyway," James said to no one in particular. "At least I know what a car is. Many people are surprisingly ignorant of these things. Take Serious, for example."

"Serious is James's best friend," Lily said by way of explanation.

Vernon choked on the piece of bread he was eating.

"Yeah, he is, top bloke, you should really meet him, so as I was saying –"

The food had been served. Petunia busied herself with her fancy chicken salad, and was only half listening to James's story about something foolish he and his friends had done recently, as a lot of it didn't even make sense to her. But then she reminded herself that she should at least make sure he was not saying anything that would make them sound or look suspicious to anyone else around, so she brought her attention back to James, who was talking animatedly and grinning.

"That's exactly why my friend Remus said. But then, it was hilarious, because Serious said – "

"I don't suppose any of your friends have _normal_ names," Petunia snapped, her irritation growing every time James mentioned that so-called Serious person.

James merely rolled his eyes, his smile fading, but Petunia noticed Lily's hurt look. Petunia had no doubt that Lily also thought of her greasy-haired, weird friend, that Snape boy.

"I guess you lot all live off of unemployment benefits," Vernon growled. "With names like that, who would hire you?"

"I certainly would not," Petunia said, sniffing, while knowing perfectly well she would never be in a position to hire anyone.

"Do you, then?" Vernon asked, looking pointedly at James.

"Do I what?" James said, loudly.

There was no longer any trace of amusement in his hazel eyes. Petunia saw Lily place her hand on top of James's, but James kept his gaze on Vernon.

"Take advantage of unemployment benefits."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," James said slowly, glancing briefly down at Lily's hand. "But if you are implying that I don't have a job, well I don't, 'cause we still have a few months of school left."

At the mention of that school, Petunia pursed her lips and looked away. To think that there was once a time that she had begged to attend that school too, was too much to bear right now. She couldn't even imagine what Vernon would say if she knew what she had asked. She had been such a foolish girl. She couldn't wait to have a normal life with Vernon and a normal family of her own, and to forget about all this nonsense.

"And I'll have you know, there _are_ jobs in the wizarding world," James said.

Petunia's face was suddenly drained of the little colour that it usually displayed.

"Keep your voice down, you fool," Petunia hissed.

Petunia and Vernon looked around wildly to make sure no one in the nearby tables showed any sign of having overheard James's last words. James sat up taller, raising his eyebrows.

"Not that I'll even need a job," James said. "Actually, my parents have a lot of gold saved up in Gringotts, and I'm their only child."

At the mention of gold, Vernon's eyes grew smaller and smaller as he squinted at James, as if that would help him understand if James was pulling his leg or not.

"Gold?" Petunia said faintly.

"Yeah, gold," James said.

Vernon grunted. His face was turning more red by the second, and he was gripping his fork very hard.

"Not that it matters," Lily said quickly. "James is not this type of person at all. Actually, we think we might join this secret group that is trying to, er, stop this very bad and dangerous – er, person."

Petunia clenched her fists under the table. So now they wanted them to believe that this boy was not only rich, but brave and noble. The waiter arrived with the menus for the dessert. Petunia could barely breathe.

"Anyone for pudding?" the waiter asked, smiling uncertainly.

Vernon's face was purple, and Lily's was also flushed, though not as much. Nobody was speaking, but they all took the menus from the waiter's hands. Petunia's hands were shaking as she looked at the menu, without seeing the words written on it.

"We'll think about it," Petunia finally said to the waiter, to dismiss him.

The waiter stopped smiling, nodded and left. As soon as the waiter was out of earshot, Vernon, who still looked furious, suddenly stood up.

"I've heard enough," Vernon hissed. "I don't want to ever hear again about Quiddotts, Gringditch and whatever other nonsense you keep rambling about! And I certainly don't want to hear about what someone named Serious thinks about cars, or about anything, for that matter! Petunia, we are _leaving_."

Vernon slammed his napkin on the table and looked at Petunia, who was still sitting, frozen, on her chair. Petunia looked from Vernon to Lily, who now seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"This was a bad idea, Lily," Petunia said coldly, as she finally stood up.

"And _you_ can get the bill," Vernon said to James contemptuously, "since you're rolling in it!"

With that, Vernon stormed off. Petunia didn't dare look at James and Lily again, so she just ran after Vernon out of the restaurant, her cheeks flushed because of the scene they were making. But Vernon was right, there was no point listening to any more of their nonsense. Once they were out in the cold December evening, as Petunia was rolling her scarf around her long neck, she glanced at the inside of the restaurant through the window. She saw that Lily was now sobbing, and James had left his chair to better comfort her.

"Come on, Petunia," Vernon growled. "Let's walk to the car."

It took months for Petunia to be able to forget about the way James looked at Lily. Nobody had ever looked at Petunia this way, and Vernon didn't, not even on their wedding day. And she resented her sister even more, for spoiling the only thing she had going for her, her relationship with Vernon. Lily always had to have the best. The day she received Lily's invitation to her wedding with James, she tore it into little pieces and shoved it in the bin before Vernon could even see it. There was no way she would be a witness to so much love and happiness. At the very least, she was proud to say that she had managed to build a perfectly normal life, thank you very much.


End file.
